STARTDUST TO STARDUST

The ordinary and perishable material will undergo a transformation, resulting in that which is original and imperishable.

This metamorphosed experience will render you immutable. Alchemy is frequently perceived in a superficial manner within society as the process of converting base metals, such as lead, into gold.

However, it encompasses far more than this simplistic interpretation when one delves into its deeper significance.

My suffering had a purpose.

At times, I’m convinced that the suffering itself was the purpose.

It immersed me in meaning and made my life feel substantial.

Suffering became a transformative force, serving as my portal to enter into introspection.

Suffering allows us to confront our false perceptions and misconceptions, enabling us to shed the layers of dross that weigh us down with pride.

We can emerge renewed, our true selves illuminated as we let go of what no longer serves us. Its hard, and no, I’m not there yet.

Embracing the silence and solitude of darkness can foster clarity and understanding, directing us toward a more enlightened and authentic existence.

A Fire for the Soul

Fire compels one to run to cooler elevations where the unvarnished truth of our own nature resides and then dies, freeing us from the burden that we ignorantly held dear.

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I had become a fragmented soul, a child adrift in the void, scared of the stark absence of light, even more so afraid of the Light.

The darkness was comforting only because the despair of protection had conditioned me to accept it as safe.

My sin wasn’t merely an act; it was a sanctuary.

Sin was the barrier I produced as a protective mechanism, shielding me from a reality I feared would mock me into death. It was the fruit I bore.

The Unseen Force at work

Why I Believe?

Upon reviewing my past childhood diaries, I have identified a significant internal conflict. My subconscious appeared to have been engaged in a persistent, covert struggle with my shadow self, not merely resisting but actively contending in a spiritual arena, grappling with the core of my own existence.

What I previously regarded as mere restlessness was, in fact my spirit has been in conflict, striving against its own impending deterioration, perceiving the forthcoming decline well before I was able to articulate it.

This struggle can be viewed through different lenses.

One might see it as divine orchestration, a fiery initiation guiding one towards profound transformation.

Another might interpret it as a psychological phenomenon in which the subconscious mind resists its own unraveling, striving for survival and speeding up the inevitable rebirth.

But perhaps the line between the two is thinner than I first thought.

I do know that whether through divine consecration or the intelligence of the human soul, one Truth remains:

I was not abandoned.

I have never been forsaken.

I AM not finished.

The darkness is authorized, but it is not final.

There is a purpose.

My suffering is not the end of my story—it is the forge that prepares me for something greater.

I have not yet reached that greater substance lying in wait, but just as my premonition of this darkness preceded what has now come, so too does the darkness now reveal the arrival of the coming Light.

The Eternal Elixir of Life is making me aware of their coming.

The Philosopher’s Stone is in my palms.

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