Shadow: the unconscious part of the human psyche that consists of repressed thoughts, emotions, desires, and characteristics.

Avoidance: the act of keeping away from something or someone, often to prevent negative consequences or conflicts.

What causes shadow avoidance to occur?

Shadow avoidance occurs when we deny or refuse to see aspects of ourselves that make us feel uncomfortable, and instead attribute those unwanted qualities to others.

This defense mechanism allows us to avoid responsibility for how we’ve hurt others and ourselves by misdirecting blame onto external targets.

LETS GO DEEPER INTO SHADOW AVOIDANCE

FEAR OF KNOWING THE ‘SELF’

At a deeper level, shadow avoidance stems from the fear of truly knowing ourselves – afraid of our own…

flaws, unhealed wounds, rejected aspects, dark emotions, and all that fun stuff.

Facing the whole truth of who we are, and acknowledging our shared humanity is terrifying to unhealed people because it chips away at the façade; the false status & self-image.

It means confronting painful experiences from the past, uncomfortable tendencies in the present, and an uncertain future.

More threatening still …

Within the darkness of our shadow something in us knows what’s there..
our inner child –
vulnerable, insecure, unloved.

This child holds the parts of our ‘self’ from early life.

If acknowledged, this inner child will demand our time and attention– we don’t have time for that.

The needed healing we carry upon our shoulders is something that we feel ill-equipped to give and the very thought of it, exhausting…

Their hurt (our hurt), having been buried deep for so long, sparks the complex reality behind of our inferiority complex .

This reminds us of our powerlessness, insufficiency, and sparks immense guilt.

A guilt that overwhelms us when it reveals the betrayal.

Betrayal of self is the worst kind, forcing us to face the angry disowned child we neglected long ago.

This Is Why We Project

To protect against such fears, it becomes easier to simply deny our shadows exist.

We project outward as a distraction. Projection protects us from facing what lies within.

Tap here for DEFINITION OF PROJECTION

In the field of psychology, projection is a defense mechanism that individuals often use to cope with their own feelings, thoughts, and impulses. This psychological phenomenon involves attributing one’s own undesirable traits, emotions, or thoughts onto another person. For example, if someone is feeling angry but finds it difficult to acknowledge that emotion within themselves, they might perceive others as being angry instead. This mechanism serves to protect the individual from facing uncomfortable truths about themselves, allowing them to avoid dealing with their own issues by externalizing them. Projection can manifest in various ways, affecting interpersonal relationships and one’s self-perception, and it is often explored in therapeutic settings to help individuals gain insight into their behaviors and emotional responses.

In doing so, unfortunately, we miss opportunities for wholeness, self acceptance and compassion – both for ourselves and others.

The lack of self-knowledge, to avoid suffering, keeps us trapped in a continual loop of suffering, and prevents genuine connection with anybody.

IN COMES SHADOW WORK

Shadow work provides a path of liberation. The truth is that -what seems too much to bear holds the most wisdom, but must be approached with care, empathy and non-condemnation.

Our inner child embodied truth- a truth that you know deeply but have not been able to find words to describe. Your inner child has those words.

With patience and compassion, we can listen for what who wants light, and love what who wants to be held.

FEAR TURNS INTO AN ALLY

Fear itself is a messenger. Each uncomfortable truth has a Gift – a peace needed for healing.

There is strength in the human Soul to face what feels too extensive to face.

YOU’RE NEVER ALONE

Remember: You’re not alone in the shadows.

You are there waiting for you to come and save yourself.

This is the thing you are longing for…

the hole in your heart that you have never been able to fill is waiting… in you & for you.

Proceed at your own pace and discover the inner guide that will steer you towards all that you believe you lack.

Allow it to emerge in its own time.

But STOP blocking it.