Before Christ saved me, I was lost and bound by the mercy of sin. I was a hater of God, wicked and full of darkness and filth, loving every bit of depravity…

A Hard Heart Loving Sin

Before I experienced Salvation, it did not matter what any “Christian” attempted to persuade me, as I was trapped in my sinful nature. I indulged in whatever pleasure I could attain and any attempts to correct me only hardened my heart further, distancing me from the Truth.

Following After Other gods

I didn’t want to lean on The Bible Alone, the Bible was nothing more than inspirational quotes to me, although I knew there was a God, I assigned The Hebrew God akin to the Egyptian Gods.

My Disdain For Christians

I thought Christians who were devoted to Bible Doctrine were brainwashed & akin to a mindless drone who only believed because they feared the idea of death & hell.
I didn’t understand.
I suppose you can’t understand without the experience.

I Didn’t Understand Faith

I didn’t even believe Faith in God was something to be had, I assumed it was something people believed to comfort themselves around the idea of death, I thought it was nothing more than a psychological comfort.

Holy Spirit Broke My Resistance

It was only when the Holy Spirit performed His Supernatural Work in me, despite my strong resistance to Him, that He implanted Himself in my mind and heart.

He compelled me to believe in Him, filling me with a Faith that cannot be rationalized. A Living Faith that is at work.

Yes, He compelled me. I did not want Him, in my mind.

Baptized In Fire

He brought me into profound darkness and misery to dismantle me, making Way for Himself. He intentionally immersed me in a profound abyss of despair and suffering in order to break me down, demolishing all that I once held dear in my conscience. In that desolate emptiness, He left me with no alternative but to rely solely on Himself, surrendering to His omnipotence and seeking solace within His divine presence.

Baptized In Eternal Truth

He led me out of the darkness into which he had placed me, and He baptized me in his Spirit of Truth, waking me up for Eternity.

Made To Be Thirsty And Hungry

He gave me a profound thirst and hunger for His Word of Truth. He has the power to bring the dead to life. He brought me to life; I was spiritually dead, though I was unaware of it. I mistakenly believed I was enlightened and spiritually gifted before experiencing Regeneration.

No Participation Trophy Here

Many like to say “I participated in my Salvation.”
To say I initiated Him to save me by “inviting” Him or “asking” Him into my heart would be far from the Truth. I initiated NOTHING. NOTHING.

A New Inner Dialogue

When He called me, it was an immediate shift in my persona and identity, it was internally frightening, as my inner voice, narrator had completely been replaced.

I Was Morphing Into Someone Else

When He began deconstructing my inner being, I didn’t fully understand why I was changing so profoundly or even that I was changing, I just became so dissatisfied with everything, I was debating myself. I was analyzing my own beliefs. God placed me outside of myself for a time, so I could see myself.

Immediately Cleansed Of ME

All I knew was that in a very short period I was washed from who I was (internally) & I was Sealed with Belief & Faith. Although my path in this world has become much much much harder for me.

How Was I washed and Altered?

Well, I suddenly wanted different things. I was thinking different thoughts. I was having different interests & my attitude was altering, best of all, my over reactionary nature toned down with no effort on my part.

No self-help books, no intentional mumbo jumbo, no psychology… Only God. Ever since that moment, I have remained consistently hungry for His Word, there are no waves of loss of interest… Although I fail constantly…

My Love for Him through His Word is endless. He claimed me. I know He did. I can’t deny His Power & my lack of power, no matter who tries to discourage me, they can’t.

I didn’t seek God or His anything until AFTER He laid His Spirit on me, NOT before. Although using subjective experiences isn’t what we base our doctrines on, but He works in His Sheep, independently of Human invocations, how He says He works, in His Word, is exactly how He works. He is Powerful, beyond powerful, He put His fear into me & He is worthy of ALL Praises & Honor.

None Can Escape The Baptism Of Fire

When He impresses Himself into your entire being, pushing, pulling and burning you in your mind, heart, soul… There’s nothing you can do. He is much stronger than us, smarter than us, wiser than us & much much more Good than we could ever imagine being.